Full disclosure: I FREAKING LOVE THESE FINAL DESTINATION MOVIES. Okay, let’s go with a totally unbiased review.  

The sixth (did not say final) entry in the franchise is a prequel and a where-are-they-now journey that takes us to the origin of Death’s Grand Design. As always, the way the franchise plays with music to foreshadow impending doom – Johnny Cash, and the Isley Brothers, in this example – pair well with the visual clues de grâce that foretell the untimely demise ahead. This film does not disappoint with the dismemberment, and the graphics are nearly flawless. The creative kills were plentiful and mathematical; constantly leading down one road, then dropping a piano on you instead. #IYKYK 

The story is strong and nestles itself nicely into the lore. The characters also work well enough to be enjoyable as Grim Reaper fodder, while also being meaningful enough to miss posthumously. It’s not just a horror flick; it’s genuinely a good time at the movies. 

It would be a disservice to not mention Tony Todd. This being his last appearance in this franchise felt poetic – it felt like perhaps Death is finished – but Death is never finished. Cut to William Bludworth laughing darkly from off-frame. Thanks for the scares, Candyman! 

Final Destination: Bloodlines is in theaters, Friday May 16 – available (and highly recommended) in IMAX. 

P.S. A friend of mine made me stay for a post-credits scene that didn’t exist, though he “swore” he “looked it up.” Maybe the scene is for paying audiences only? Someone stay through the end, come back here and let us know!